We're in the primordial stages of business development. We're hoping that in the next 5 years we can truly expand our professional portfolios through working with unique folks who can benefit from our services. Check out our terrible, unfinished website here: oneapparatus.com

...only have 15 seconds of filming time per recording session. Vine and Snapchat do not count.

My parents moved out of Fillmore, CA - the town I grew up in. I have no reason to go back there. This must be closure. I am no longer that child, but that child will always be here.  I got my first digital camera when I was 15 and I regret not taking more photos.

Realizing that self goals can better be achieved with a person sharing said goals.

Thankful.

The Poptent campaign ended and our short was submitted. I truly think we learned a lot from this quickly planned project, and we can only grow from here. We may not be chosen (I'm on the fence - I love our work, but they may choose something more commercial) but at least we increased our solidarity and bolstered our creative foundation.

We're participating in a Poptent assignment! Really cutting it close with 7 days left. It's coming together well!

Cold and almost there.

Montana de Oro, Avila Beach, Pismo, and Morro Beach








Last pic by Rachel Cleak.

We're working on a short (1-2 min) film for the Dream365 visitcalifornia.com campaign, hosted by PopTent.

 It's a perfect match for us. We'll be exploring the Central Coast region - Morro Bay & Pismo, to highlight the timelessness of exploration that has never dissolved from California culture. We'll be featuring a new actress (hooray, not me this time!) who, though she has no dialogue, will assist in telling our story effectively. We hope to get some locals involved, as well. I will be writing a short song to accompany the video. Very excited to integrate these things once again!

We'll see how it goes working with this guy. I'm not sure he's aware I posted this here:

It's fun

Original photo courtesy of Matt Biundo

I am too many ideas, and I can't sit still long enough to see them collected wholly before me.

I think I'm meant to be nomadic. The profundity of change and growth drives me; emerging fresh from instances of stress and fear that have compressed into themselves over time - until the pressure caused an emotional explosion - is what inspires me. Like long waves, these cycles last months and sometimes years, until a point is reached when nothing new can be learned both pragmatically and emotionally. The environment becomes stale. The parameters have produced most configurations of obstacles and conflicts. You saved that money. You dealt with the broken appliances. You said hello and goodbye to friends. You've stabilized obscure or painful memories. You ran that long race. You spoke to that person you were dreading. You've done all the growth you can in the current state.

And then I feel discontent with restless-leg syndrome spreading from the calves into all of my body's nerves. Sitting, standing, running, but still waiting in metaxy until the break of the wave comes for me, or I induce it out of impatience. I will force the change to grow more. Tiny water drops will spray across the landscape as the wave crashes, decorating the path to the next.

I had never run further than 15, so I decided to run 20. I ended up running 21 due to a navigation error.

This is the map. I ran from Vallejo's Farmers Market back to the BART station in Pleasant Hill:

Brendan & I created this music video with MMO. It's for their single Lightyears Away.

Lightyears Away from Brendan Cleak on Vimeo.

makes the world inside your brain look and feel soft, overgrown, and beckoning; a little like this:

And it's a bummah. Took a symmetry portrait while visiting Fillmore, CA. I may only see my hometown once more for a long time.

I just added this page about my running history, stats, and goals. It will motivate me to work harder.

I also celebrated my birthday. I received another map for my future collection (thanks Mom!) among other lovely gifts and dinners. I spent the day in the city at the DeYoung Museum and saw Son Lux live at the Independent.

I also received a Maschine. I was extremely frustrated with Reason and my current recording set up. I needed something manual, much like a keyboard, that I could use to control sounds and loops. Ta-da!

Honestly, I'm frightened and anxious. Getting started on projects and organizing my thoughts and actions in prep for creating art is the hardest part of creating anything. It's daunting, but inviting. I can do this.

Today, somewhere in the past, I'm on a boat with my Mom and Dad.

This is how it started:


My strides were slightly affected by the constraints of the camera's long-exposure settings. Here's the first "shorter" stride, where I ran normally but tried to elongate the movements to make sure the camera observed a full sequence. It's not perfect; clearly, you can see a dismembered foot.

Through pacing trial and error, we observed this (and it felt much more natural):

And another good take:

Regardless of constraints (like shooting in daytime, 3 levels down in a parking garage), it came out quite well. It taught me that I have a (mostly) consistent stride that makes attractive patterns. I hope we can redo this with more accuracy in the future.

Thanks to Brendan for camera & cinematography.

Or it's quite dead. Either way, I didn't venture close enough to find out. But, should we?

Almost. Pic by Brendan Cleak & me.

This is really coming together & it should be done by mid-September.

Apparently this is how I look when I'm sprinting up a hill and trying to smile.
From the Angel Island 12k

Swings really bring things back to reality.

with Brendan Cleak

For my sister and her late companion, Iceska.

Brendan and I are working on a video for Meet Me in Orbit's first single.

 I made this intro a year ago for Kevin Smith's Smodcast network podcast Get Up Off This w/ Matt Robinson & Jensen Karp. One of the best - still an avid listener. I recommend it if you have a face to laugh with. I'd absolutely make a better one if I had the time. Perhaps in the next month when I can work on it for more than a fidgety hour.

Brendan is kinda somethin' else.

This was such a fantastic shoot!

Because I need laughs everyday, here's a comedy (or serious) track called Gu Cruise by Howard Kremer.

Imagining I'm there out on the sea with a friendly orangutan. It's the perfect day and it has the perfect song.

Where has my inspiration gone? My drive? I am overwhelmed by all of my creative needs. There are too many to sail with too small a channel to pass through. I am wide, but with narrow output. I don't know what to do. I am moored.

Here's a photo from Brendan, from our trip to Washington. I had such ample opportunities and I spoiled them with fear and apathy.

Inspired by experimental film (and, oddly enough, the film "The Ring"), I created this 1 min short to exemplify the anxiety of living in a tiny desert town.

Old high school video: Anxious Summer from CARYN SANDOVAL on Vimeo.

Brendan and I did some photography for Ms. Mashup. Check it out!

On my parents' boat in 1987 in the Channel Islands. This feeling. All the time.

New symmetry portrait taken in Martinez, CA. View on Flickr.